Never Will Get Over It

Below is a devotional from griefshare.org that I related to. It is hard to explain that no matter how happy I am at any particular time, I always carry the pain and grief with me, and often I am feeling it while talking to you and smiling.......................

It's been only 20 months -- I'm sure a lot of people think I should be much better by now. And I am to some extent, but mainly I just don't talk about it because I don't think people want to hear it. I am not doing so well most days................

Today a rock song came on the radio and my heart seized in the familiar gut-wrenching pain as Paul's face flashed through my mind -- smiling, serious as he played his guitar, goofy, angry........just his face and expressions one after the other. And I missed him so much I felt as if I couldn't breathe.But I kept driving the car as tears ran down my face. Shopped at Wal-Mart, no one knew the pain pounding inside.

So, here's the devotional, here's something to learn about those who grieve............

Grief Lasts Longer Than ExpectedDay 4

Grief's unexpected turns will throw you again and again. You may feel that for every step forward, you take at least one step back. The grieving process generally takes longer than you ever imagined.Please don't rush this process. Remember, what you are feeling is not only normal; it is necessary.

"It's been seven years, and I'm still going through it," says Dr. Larry Crabb, whose brother died in a plane crash. "I don't know if it's a very holy thing to admit, but when someone says, 'Well, it's been a week, a month, a year—Larry, for you it's been seven years. Get a grip. Where's your faith in Christ, for goodness' sake?' I get really angry.

"Knowing the Lord and His comfort does not take away the ache; instead, it supports you in the middle of the ache. Until I get home to heaven, there's going to be an ache that won't quit. The grieving process for me is not so much a matter of getting rid of the pain, but not being controlled by the pain."

We read in the Psalms that David grew weary with the process of grief and cried out to the Lord. Then he left the timing in God's hands.

"Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long? Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love" (Psalm 6:2-4).

"I am weary with my sighing; Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears. My eye has wasted away with grief" (Psalm 6:6-7 NASB).

Heavenly God, I cannot even begin to put my grief in a time frame. Thank you that I don't have to. Comfort me and support me as I lean on You. Amen.