I watched a movie today, P.S. I Love You. I cried through a great deal of it. It's a good movie, but if you've grieved, it is poignant and heartrending. I cried at expected moments, but there was one moment in the film that brought acute pain, and tears so thick I had to pause the movie. The woman found something under some furniture that was small, but brought back a beautiful memory of her deceased husband.

I was hit with pain, the kind of pain that happens when I run across something of Paul's that's unexpected, or finding that piece of trash outside (earlier post).

I was also struck by the REALITY of the movie, her grief and the way she dealt with it. But also, how everyone else dealt with her grief -- people want you to "heal" and "move on" and do things differently WAY before you are ready. So those feelings of anger surfaced when someone said to her, "Come on, it's been (how ever long)!!!"

In the economy of grief, the phrase really should be "It's been ONLY (how ever long)" and then give the griever a lot more time.